Honouring the Mother with Blessingways

Matrescence is the term used to describe the process of becoming a mother, a process that begins long before her child is born. It's a period of monumental physical, psychological and emotional changes for the mother, a period where EVERYTHING changes. But in the Western world it seems that during the pregnancy, birth and journey into motherhood the focus is largely on the baby and less on the mother. New mothers need support during this time, possibly more than they will ever need at any other point in their life.

How can we help make the matrescence journey smooth, rewarding, and memorable, ensuring that our fellow mothers get the mothering that they need?

Blessingways - honouring the rite of passage

Have you heard about Blessingways? I had the privilege of attending a beautiful blessingway ceremony recently for a friend and Hypnobirthing mum.

A Blessingway, also called a Mother's Blessing, is an ancient Navajo ceremony to celebrate a woman's pregnancy and her transition to motherhood.

A group of the mother's nearest and dearest come together to honour the mother. It is less focused on the baby, but rather on celebrating the woman that she is and the mother that she is about to become. It's about support, connection and love.

Words of affirmation or wisdom surrounding birth and motherhood are offered, and ceremonies are also performed. The mother is pampered and showered with love and support, and all round treated like the queen that she is.

It was such an intimate and spiritual way to honour this special rite of passage, of respecting the process of maiden to mother.

What's the difference between that and a baby shower?

Baby showers are a wonderful, informal, way to get a larger group of people together, and increasingly they are becoming mixed sex so everyone can share the excitement of a baby on the way.

During a baby shower the mother is presented with gifts, mostly for the baby, food is shared and sometimes baby themed games are played.

The focus of a baby shower is primarily on the baby and not on the mother / parents.

During a blessingway the focus is on nurturing the mother, celebrating motherhood, and filling her with love and excitement. A Blessingway helps the woman to prepare herself for birth, emotionally, spiritually and mentally, and to prepare for her role as a new mother.

A Blessingway gets back to the ancient tradition of women supporting women, of celebrating sisterhood and creating community. It's about letting the mother know she is not alone.

What happens at a Blessingway?

Traditionally a female only event, a group of the mother's choosing come together during the later stages of her pregnancy to cultivate positive energy for the birth and entry into motherhood. The group will sit in a circle, with the mother sitting on her throne.

Blessingways are often run by a professional celebrant who is trained and experienced to lead and guide Blessingway ceremonies. They can work with the mother to develop a unique ceremony that best reflects the mothers desires, needs and individuality.

Introductions are made, with each participant also stating their mothers and grandmothers names. Blessings, words of love, well wishes, affirmations or advice are shared with the mother. Guided meditations can be practiced, as well as ceremonies.

There is a wide range of ceremonies or rituals that you can do and there are no rules. If choosing a celebrant they will be able to guide you through your options. You can even create one of your own, but typically ceremonies include the creation of a birthing necklace / bracelet, yarn bracelets, creation of art or affirmations, and pampering of the mother.

Birthing necklace / bracelet

Each participant offers a bead which reminds them of the mother or has a special significance. The necklace or bracelet are then taken by the mother into her birth to remind her of the love and support she has around her.

Yarn bracelets

A ball of yarn is passed around the circle, with each participant loosely wrapping it around their wrist a few times before passing it on. It symbolises that we are united as one and the circle of life. It represents the circle of love, support and connections that the mother has both during the Blessingway and in her matrescence journey.

The yarn is cut for each participant while it is wrapped around the wrist and the two ends are tied together to form a bracelet. It is worn until you receive word that the baby has been born.

Flower offerings

Each participant offers a flower to the mother to form a birthing bouquet. The flower can be anything that reminds them of the mother.

Decorating the belly

Body paint or henna can be used to adorn the woman's belly, helping her to feel celebrated and beautiful. Some woman take this opportunity to take a plaster cast of her pregnancy.

Massage and pampering

Massage, foot baths or braiding hair are all welcome activities at a Blessingway! Anything that the mother would like to make her feel pampered, adored and relaxed.

Birth art

Create art that the mother can display around her home during the final weeks of pregnancy, or perhaps to decorate her birth space with.

These can also include affirmation cards that the mother can take into her birth.

Should you do a Blessingway or baby shower?

Well...I think you should do both! Why not?

But if you had to choose one....go for a Blessingway! What a warm, spiritual and connecting experience it is for all, but most of all, it is such a beautiful opportunity to really show love, support and adoration for the mother.

If a Blessingway is of interest to you I recommend the warmest celebrant around; Danielle Wildermuth from Your Story Celebrant. Danielle has a genuine interest in people and their stories and creatively tailors personalised and meaningful ceremonies.

https://www.yourstorycelebrant.com.au/